Monday, July 16, 2012

Some Days

Some days getting up early and leaving for work before my kiddos are even up is hard.  But some days it feels almost impossible.  My heart aches as I walk out the door without even a goodbye hug.  They are still fast asleep and I have to be out the door by 7:00 to even have a chance of making it to work on time.

It’s been almost two months since my first day back and yes we have a routine down, yes I’ve “gotten used to it” but no, it really doesn’t get any easier.

I still have days where I sit in the bathroom crying.  Wishing I was at home playing dolls with Avery or rocking Asher.  It’s not fair that someone else is getting to do that.  I know, I know.  Life isn’t fair.  Knowing that doesn’t make it any easier.

I’m not writing this for sympathy or to complain.  I simply want them to know one day that I never wanted to leave them.  Being a working mom was not my choice, it is just what I have to do.  Every single day I wish I was home and I don’t want either one of them to ever wonder if I chose my career over being at home. 

I’m still hopeful that at some point in the future I will be able to stay home.  That there will come a day when Matt and I feel like we can survive on one income.  Because I don’t know how much longer I can do this. 


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    1. Oh sweet friend, you are not alone. I get it.

  2. You will get to be with them one day. God knows your heart. I understand your pain. Hugs!!