I have really struggled to find balance in my life since I went back to work when Avery was seven weeks old. I definitely feel pressure to ‘do it all’ - be a good mom, a good wife, a good friend/sister/daughter etc., excel at my job, keep my house clean, and somehow find time to just be me, too. It is a daily struggle for me. I am a people pleaser. It is who I am and probably won’t ever change. So naturally, when I feel like I have let someone down or not lived up to expectations it really weighs on me.
In a perfect world, my family would eat organic, from-scratch meals three times a day. I would go running every evening and even have time for a 10k or two. My floors would be sparkling, there would never be three loads of laundry waiting to be done or a stack of dirty dishes in the sink. I would get home at night, make a delicious & nutritious meal, play with Avery, put her to bed, hangout with the hubby, exercise, clean up the house, & still make it to bed by 10:00pm. We would shop locally for in-season veggies and we’d move so that I wouldn’t have an hour-long commute. I would have girls night out on a regular basis to keep my sanity. AND still have time for ME because I am more than a mother/wife.
Wow, that’s a lot. No wonder I feel overwhelmed. Thankfully I know no one expects me to accomplish all of this so why do I continually put pressure on myself to be ‘perfect’? It is a constant battle for me.
As Avery gets older and more independent I find that I am able to make dinner more often, clean the kitchen more frequently and achieve a little more balance in my life. I still set unrealistic expectations for myself though. And I still beat myself up when I (of course) fail to meet these expectations.
Thankfully (or sadly, depending on how you look at it) I know I am not alone in this. I guess it’s a woman thing. Most of the women I know seem to feel the same way, to some degree. Whether they have kids or not, are working moms or stay-at-home moms, I think most of us feel the pressure to do it all.
I joke that I need to find a way to clone myself but let’s face it, that obviously isn’t going to happen. So for now, I’m okay with getting 75% of the laundry done each weekend, eating out occasionally, not running 10k's and being the best mom/wife/daughter/friend I can, not the perfect mom/wife/daughter/friend.